As I type this sentence, the premieres of the second season of Sleepy Hollow, the fourth season of Scandal and the inaugural seasons of How To Get Away With Murder and Black-ish are merely days away. Bri, are you saying the premieres of four shows with leads of color are upon us and they’re all hitting us in the same week?
Yes. Yes that’s exactly what I’m saying.
I’m not sure if you’re anything like me, but sometimes all the black excellence can be a bit overwhelming so I need to prepare my mind, body and spirit for the week we have ahead of us. Here’s a list of five things you can do to get yourself together before the season and series premieres of your favorite shows:
1. Exercise Your Thumbs In order to get through my favorite shows I have to be a part of the Twitter conversation while simultaneously group texting my friends. Most times, all of this is done from my phone which requires my thumbs to be in constant motion. I’ve been doing this for the past few years so my thumbs are well-trained in typing non-stop for 3-hour blocks. If you are new to this live tweeting/group texting game you may want to Google a few ways to strengthen the thumb muscles because you don’t want your hand to cramp up on you right as Shonda reveals where Olivia has been all this time or that little Jerry ain’t dead or whatever else they talk about on that show.
2. Stock Up on Your Favorite Snacks and Drinks Make sure before you find out how Abbie Mills gets out of Purgatory, or wherever the hell Crane left her, that you have your favorite drink and snacks on deck. You don’t want to come to the terrible realization that you ain’t got no wine left in your kitchen five minutes before the premiere starts (and no it’s not the same if you DVR it). Therefore, you should pick up all your popcorn, bottles of Pinot Grigio and Twinkies hours before your show premieres. That way you can be in a calm and stress-free place when it’s go time. Speaking of calm and stress-free…
3. Practice Deep Breathing Exercises I am not new to this Shonda Rhimes game, I’m true to this. That means I’ve been down this road before of being slain in the spirit by her plot twists. The mere sound of Viola Davis saying “Welcome to how to get away with murderrrrrrr” had me in the fetal position back in May so I already know I’m not ready. I would recommend meditation 30 minutes before the opening credits of Scandal or Sleepy Hollow. Nothing intense, just a few deep breathing exercises that calms the mind and body. Maybe envision yourself in a calm, quiet place like the forest or next to the ocean or inside Bed, Bath, & Beyond—whatever floats your boat. Just de-stress yourself in preparation for the way these shows are going to viciously come for both your edges and your well-being.
4. Make Sure All Your Devices are Charged Sometimes you need to take a quick lap around your apartment during a commercial break while simultaneously typing the word “Yassssssssssssss” to your three friends who are watching the same show. It’s important that whatever device you are communicating on is not tied down because it’s on the charger. If Anthony Anderson and Laurence Fishburne have me rolling on the floor laughing on Black-ish I want to be able to tweet to the masses “this is the funniest sitcom in a long time” without having to worry about pulling my charger from the wall. Do yourself a favor and have your tablet, PC, and iPhone charged prior to your show starting. You can thank me later.
5. Notify All Friends and Family of Your Schedule I have a rule that if you are not watching the same thing I am watching [or dying], do not contact me when my show is on. I don’t need the distraction of helping you figure out how to stream Downton Abbey from that one bootleg website you found while I’m trying to figure out if Ichabod Crane’s evil son is actually gonna let the Headless Horseman kidnap his mama. Downton Abbey can wait. I recommend you all do the same and notify folks ahead of time that you are blocking off the hours of ‘x’ and ‘y’ as no-contact times. How are you supposed to keep your mind focused on how hard Viola Davis is slaying in her red leather jacket when somebody is texting you about what shoes go with the outfit they wearing to the club in a couple of days? You can’t.
That’s all the knowledge I have for you! Check out the season two premiere of Sleepy Hollow tomorrow at 9 EST on FOX, the series premiere of Black-ish Wednesday at 10:30 EST on ABC and the season four premiere of Scandal Thursday at 9 EST followed by the series premiere of How To Get Away With Murder at 10 on ABC. Feel free to leave any tips to help out your fellow brothers and sisters in the struggle as fall TV pops off.